Friday, April 28, 2017

IWSG #12 - Deadlines and Disappointments


It's that time again for sharing with the Insecure Writer's Support Group.
What is that you may ask, well their mission statement is this:
The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a home for writers in all stages; from unpublished to bestsellers. Our goal is to offer assistance and guidance. We want to help writers overcome their insecurities, and by offering encouragement we are creating a community of support.

The first Wednesday of each month, we blog about our fears, insecurities, or even an accomplishment we had. 

Normally I write this post the night before it's due, but this time I wanted to have it posted on this day specifically.  April 28th, 2014 I hit that publish button on my first book.

I was both excited and scared about putting my first book baby out in the world. When I'd finally gotten it done, the idea for Not Broken came to me and I started writing it right away. I had a 'new publish' high if you will and a great outlook on my career as a writer because of it. 

Reviews came in, and they were positive only adding to my excitement. Work on Not Broken was going slow, but it was going. I had, at the time, clear direction on what I wanted from the story, everything was looking up. 

Then the writing began to stall. I hit roadblocks with Malcolm's character, lost direction, and started making excuses. The first twelve chapters of Not Broken came easily then nothing. To add to the struggle and self doubt the not so positive reviews came in. They weren't terrible, but not glowing either. My very first post for IWSG was about just that. No matter how much I told myself I knew not everyone would love my book, those not so positive reviews were the fertilizer feeding the seeds of self-doubt that had already been planted. 

After that the excuses came easier. Any and everything took importance over my writing. Days, weeks, months, and finally years went by without me even opening my WIP doc. I still made one or two sales a month on Fiendish. I got a few emails and messages via Facebook from readers asking when Not Broken would be out and I'd feel like crap for not having completed it by now. 

I learned about this group in April of 2016, made my first blog post in May. Reading other posts and getting the encouraging comments on mine had me blowing the dust off my WIP and the want to work on it came back. Since then I've made great progress on it, but not without road bumps along the way.

Being self-published means I don't have anyone expecting anything from me by a certain time. Any deadlines are of my own making. That brings me back to the point of this post for this day. With all the setbacks I encountered I tried to give myself a deadline for having Not Broken out into the world. The day you ask? April 28, 2017. I wanted to have it out on the anniversary of Fiendish's release. The day has come, but the book remains unfinished. 

I'm disappointed in myself for taking so long. I'm disappointed in myself for making excuse after excuse on why I didn't have to work on it. The book is still an active WIP. I'm determined to get it done and out in the world. I owe it to myself and the few people that I hope are still out there wanting to read it. I wish I could say I'm close to being done. I wish I could have a tentative release date to give, but I don't. There are still eight months in 2017, and the best I can say is that Not Broken will (hopefully) be out at some point in one of those eight months. I wish I could offer more, but sadly I can't.

Thanks for stopping by
~Meka

14 comments:

  1. Hey Meka,

    I'm sorry you're disappointed that you missed your deadline. Keep your head up high. You're still working on Not Broken, and it'll be finished when it's finished. I know you can do it :)

    Happy Anniversary!

    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

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    1. Thanks. I'm pretty bummed at how long it's taking me to finish this book. I have no excuse for it being 3 years since my last release. :(

      thanks for the words of encouragement.

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  2. Eight months is a great goal. And we all know the hard work and the long hours that go into this process, so no one can expect any more from you. An idea to alleviate guilt, for those who are desperate to read the book, send them a teaser! A draft of the first chapter, a few hints about what happens in the book. I'm no expert, so maybe don't listen to me, but it may also help you if you're interacting with people about the story you're working on. :) http://www.raimeygallant.com

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    1. I want to have the book finished and published by the end of this year. I just have to buckle down and get it done. A teaser, I've never done one of those. Guess I can attempt to finally do something with my newsletter if that's the case. The interaction thing has been hard. I am more on some social media sites but most of the people I'm interacting with are other authors, not the readers that are waiting for the book. Hopefully some are following my blog so that I can reach them that way. Need to maybe post a progress update.

      thanks for stopping by

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  3. Sometimes we just put too much pressure on ourselves, eh? I found that was my biggest issue when it came to publishing sequels. It was amazing with book 3 to have a sounding board in my editor who allowed me to bounce everything off him and move forward the right direction.

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    1. Yes, I'm the worst at that. This will be my first 'sequel' as such and not sure I'll do it again. But never say never right. LOL Oh, that sounds like a dream. I hope to get that someday. Talking to someone when I'm stuck really helps me, but it hasn't been easy to find.

      thanks for stopping by

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  4. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, but it's awesome the IWSG has inspired you! Maybe you're like me, and you need external deadlines. Is there anything you can do to provide an external force? Book and pay for a blog tour, tell all your readers and subscribers the release date?

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    1. IWSG has been a huge help in getting me back to my writing. Just the monthly posts/comments have been a big deal since I don't interact much on the FB page. I never thought about doing something like your suggested. I think I'd like to wait until at least the first draft is finished, but then I guess that sorta defeats the purpose in motivating me to finish it. LOL My second self imposed deadline is fast approaching and I know I'll miss it too. :(

      thanks for stopping by

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  5. Don't feel guilty--sometimes we don't have it and sometimes it's harder to push through. Just keep working, minimize your distractions, and lock your inner editor up in a box or something. Best of luck!

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    1. It's hard not to feel guilty. I try, but I do feel like I'm letting people down and losing potential readers in the process since they're tired of waiting. Keeping with my writing routine helps, but I admit to letting that slack as of late. :( LOL that inner editor is a force to be reckoned with.

      thanks for stopping by

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  6. Yes, we do put pressure on ourselves, even when we're self-published. Having disappointed myself, too, I can feel your disappointed. I know it's trite but it is what it is. Do your best.

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    1. Exactly. I honestly thought I'd be working on book 3 by now not still trying to finished book 2. Then comparing myself to other writers that don't seem to have issues with writer's block, and produce at least a book a year or more, doesn't help matter. I'm trying to do my best but sometimes it just doesn't feel good enough.

      thanks for stopping by

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  7. Yeah, I blow my own deadlines all the time. Sometimes because they're unrealistic, sometimes because other things just get in the way, sometimes you get in your own way. It's still important to have them, to be working toward something. Without some kind of date or endgoal in mind, I tend to take even longer.

    And I'm big on anniversary dates, too. In fact, tomorrow is the 2-year anniversary of my first self-published book!

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    1. :( so you do feel my pain. It sucks. I try to be realistic with my goals and giving myself 3 years has been more than enough time. Time that I wasted. I know I get in my own way, spend too much time thinking about what I should have done instead of just doing it.

      Happy anniversary to you!

      thanks for stopping by

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