Last week I started with an excerpt from my book Fiendish and I'm picking up again with that. The excerpt picks up in the middle of chapter 3 and I will continue till the end of the chapter.
From last week: Seth has been invited to join Calida and her friend Macy at dinner only when he gets there Macy has to leave. This week picks up with Calida's reaction to Macy's news.
Part 1
“What?” Calida exclaimed and quickly
became embarrassed by her outburst. “Sorry. What I mean is how do you expect me
to get home? Walk to the Marta station from here? That’s like two miles.”
Macy looked over at me briefly, and I
smiled back at her in return. “I’ll be happy to drop you off at home,” I
offered.
“Great! Then it’s settled,” Macy stated
quickly.
Calida shot her a pleading look, which
her friend simply ignored as she waved goodbye to us.
Hope you enjoyed this week's snippet. Thanks for stopping by.
Hope you enjoyed this week's snippet. Thanks for stopping by.
Uh oh...it kind of smacks of a setup. :-)
ReplyDeleteYour writing is very fluid. The descriptions are good. I easily visualized the scene. The dialogue flowed well. Good snippet!
it was a bit of a set up on Macy's part. She's trying to push her friend out of her comfort zone.
DeleteThank you on the comments about the writing. :)
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Friends can be fiendish-for your own good is the rational.
ReplyDeleteSolid dialogue. You snared the writer from the first.
I mean snared this reader.
ReplyDeleteLOL, well Macy is trying to help her friend out by taking advantage to this accidental meeting, but wasn't gonna stick around to be the third wheel.
DeleteGlad you enjoyed it! More next week.
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Enjoyed the snippet. Interesting title too.
ReplyDeleteJuneta at Writer's Gambit
Glad you enjoyed the snippet. :) The title really speaks to Seth's character.
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I can feel Calida's dread as her friend waves goodbye. Really nice 8.
ReplyDeleteLOL...yeah Calida does not want to be left alone.
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I like the conflicting actions between the dialogue.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/08/weekend-writing-warriors-82514.html
Thanks. Seth was fully aware of what Macy was doing. Poor Calida got no say in the matter.
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Great set-up, conflict, tension, all in a few lines. Very nice snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, glad you enjoyed it
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Nothing like an obvious set up, can't wait to see what happens next!
ReplyDeleteLOL...Macy knows her friend needs a not so gentle shove to get the ball rolling.
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Ha, Macy is a bit fiendish...looking forward to seeing where this goes.
ReplyDeleteLOL...yeah she's a pushy one, but in a good way.
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Nice conflict.
ReplyDeleteTweeted
Thanks. :)
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Hey Meka,
ReplyDeleteI love the dialogue and the tension because the friend doesn't want Macy joining them. Gives me a vibe that Macy can't be trusted or Calida is just a jealous person. Interesting set-up.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
ah...it's actually the opposite. Calida is nervous about being left alone with Seth and is upset that Macy is leaving her. LOL. Calida is not very jealous at all. She and Macy have been friends since 3rd grade so trust is not an issue.
DeleteThanks for stopping by :)