IWSG #4: Performance Anxiety

It's that time again for sharing with the Insecure Writer's Support Group.
What is that you may ask, well their mission statement is this:

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a home for writers in all stages; from unpublished to bestsellers. Our goal is to offer assistance and guidance. We want to help writers overcome their insecurities, and by offering encouragement we are creating a community of support.

The first Wednesday of each month, we blog about our fears, insecurities, or even an accomplishment we had.

My previous posts have all been about some insecurity I've had but this month's post was inspired by an email I got from a reader (I don't get many LOL).

Like other messages I have gotten from readers, this one was asking when the long over due follow-up to Fiendish would be released. My previous posts have all related in someway to the many reasons that book is still sitting as an unfinished WIP. However, this message stood out to me because of the reason they were asking, she wanted to find out how my character coped and possibly healed from the toxic relationship in book 1. 

As a writer, my goal is to hopefully entertain my readers on some level. When I wrote the first book, I wasn't thinking that someone might be able to relate to it on such a personal level due to things that happened in their own lives.  While the message I received was a welcomed surprise, it also added to my growing anxiety for book 2.

Book 1 was not by any means some major success, but I was happy with the reception it has received. At the same time I didn't go into writing it with the same thought process I've had with book 2 because of its origins. I started this journey as a blogger, that's where the story began. I would get feedback/encouragement with the direction the story was taking with each chapter that was released. Doing book 2 blind scares me. I got so used to that instant feedback that not having it sorta freezes me up from continuing. Knowing that there are some waiting on this book makes feel like I've already let them down by taking so long to write it, and then I worry they will be so disappointed in the final product whenever I get it finished.

Getting that email made me really wonder if there were other readers out there waiting to see the same thing, how to heal from that sort of experience. That is a lot of responsibility I took on, on top of my other worries to make sure I produce the best possible follow-up, then instantly thinking I'm going to fail spectacularly. I opened my WIP for the first time in months, stared at the words on the screen, then closed it without making a single change. This book won't write itself, not matter how much I wish it would, but it would seem that I also can't write it. 

**Question of the month: How do you find time to write in your busy day?**

Well, if I didn't have the issues I've posted about, I'd actually have plenty of time to write. I am mainly a stay at home mom that works and evening part-time job. That leaves me pretty much most of the day to do all the writing I want while my children are at school. During the summer is different. When I did attempt to write it was after my husband had gotten home from work. The kids were fed and having their time with daddy since they'd been with me all day. I'd take my laptop and close myself up in my bedroom to get away from the noise as much as I could. 

Thanks for stopping by
~Meka