Wednesday, September 7, 2016

IWSG #4: Performance Anxiety


It's that time again for sharing with the Insecure Writer's Support Group.
What is that you may ask, well their mission statement is this:

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a home for writers in all stages; from unpublished to bestsellers. Our goal is to offer assistance and guidance. We want to help writers overcome their insecurities, and by offering encouragement we are creating a community of support.

The first Wednesday of each month, we blog about our fears, insecurities, or even an accomplishment we had.

My previous posts have all been about some insecurity I've had but this month's post was inspired by an email I got from a reader (I don't get many LOL).

Like other messages I have gotten from readers, this one was asking when the long over due follow-up to Fiendish would be released. My previous posts have all related in someway to the many reasons that book is still sitting as an unfinished WIP. However, this message stood out to me because of the reason they were asking, she wanted to find out how my character coped and possibly healed from the toxic relationship in book 1. 

As a writer, my goal is to hopefully entertain my readers on some level. When I wrote the first book, I wasn't thinking that someone might be able to relate to it on such a personal level due to things that happened in their own lives.  While the message I received was a welcomed surprise, it also added to my growing anxiety for book 2.

Book 1 was not by any means some major success, but I was happy with the reception it has received. At the same time I didn't go into writing it with the same thought process I've had with book 2 because of its origins. I started this journey as a blogger, that's where the story began. I would get feedback/encouragement with the direction the story was taking with each chapter that was released. Doing book 2 blind scares me. I got so used to that instant feedback that not having it sorta freezes me up from continuing. Knowing that there are some waiting on this book makes feel like I've already let them down by taking so long to write it, and then I worry they will be so disappointed in the final product whenever I get it finished.

Getting that email made me really wonder if there were other readers out there waiting to see the same thing, how to heal from that sort of experience. That is a lot of responsibility I took on, on top of my other worries to make sure I produce the best possible follow-up, then instantly thinking I'm going to fail spectacularly. I opened my WIP for the first time in months, stared at the words on the screen, then closed it without making a single change. This book won't write itself, not matter how much I wish it would, but it would seem that I also can't write it. 

**Question of the month: How do you find time to write in your busy day?**

Well, if I didn't have the issues I've posted about, I'd actually have plenty of time to write. I am mainly a stay at home mom that works and evening part-time job. That leaves me pretty much most of the day to do all the writing I want while my children are at school. During the summer is different. When I did attempt to write it was after my husband had gotten home from work. The kids were fed and having their time with daddy since they'd been with me all day. I'd take my laptop and close myself up in my bedroom to get away from the noise as much as I could. 

Thanks for stopping by
~Meka

8 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm going to try some new things in hopes of figuring out a way to push through.

      thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  2. Goodness, I hear you! I've had so many people write me about the last book in my series that I didn't need any further writing pressure. And at the same time, I was worried about disappointing them. Not that I thought I would, but you never know what they're hoping for specifically. It's good to be over that hurdle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you managed to get over that hurdle. Sadly mine keep stacking up and mostly it's of my own doing. I need to dig deep and get it done, but that's proving easier said than done.

      thanks for stopping by

      Delete
    2. A little at a time, eh? You will get there. Just be patient with yourself. It took me two years to get the last book written...but then I also was pregnant and had a new baby in there, so...

      Delete
    3. Yay for new baby! I don't even have that excuse. I do have kids, but they are all school age now...so yeah all me putting things off. But I'm attempting change so we'll see how it goes.

      Delete
  3. So, now that the kids are back in school, do you think you will find more time to continue the writing process of book 2. A nice, long break might be what you needed? Good luck with the sequel. It sounds like you have a lot of the manuscript done already. Maybe you can mix in some thoughts readers of book 1 have? Writers get pressure from all sides. It must be hard to get it from the reader side as well as from yourself! But, it is nice to know that they are waiting for you too...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ideally that was the plan, but they've been back in school for just about a month now and I've not even opened my doc. :( I don't have as much done as I'd like. Maybe only about 13 chapters I think and there's still a lot of story to tell. I don't think the readers are really pressuring me, all of this is self-inflicted. It is nice to know they are waiting, but the longer they wait the more I fear they'll lose interest.

      thanks for stopping by

      Delete